


Painful Awakening

by Galadrielle1983



Series: From hate to love [1]
Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galadrielle1983/pseuds/Galadrielle1983
Summary: The insane collector takes things further than anybody thought. Can 10k rescue Murphy before it is too late?SPOILERS Episode 2x08 The Collector; canon death, attempted rape / non-con, AU; slash, not beta-read





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Starting at the scene where Murphy tried to escape and made it to the front door. The collector stopped him with the remote control and band around his neck, when 10k suddenly appears outside the door.

Murphy was still twitching on the ground. The door was so near and so far away. Hope dwindled away when he heard 10k talking to the monster still pushing the button, electricity making his body twitch and cramp uncontrollable.

How the blue skinned man wished to be able to call out for his friend –were they really friends? The whole group wanted to delivery him to the next laboratory, to save humanity, they said. But nobody cared about him, what would happen once they got rid of him.

Murphy feared that he would be made into a lab rat once again. The pain from those first zombie bites was always on his mind, even now as his wounds were miraculously healing over time.

Mind drifting Murphy felt his body finally stop twitching. The bastard was talking again, he must really love the sound of his own voice, when Murphy felt himself pulled up. His whole body hurt and he blacked out into darkness.

The quite was interrupted by new pain, it pulled him from the soothing blackness from unconsciousness. His head feeling too heavy and body sore while his wrists seemed to be tied up he was forced to endure as his clothes were pulled of roughly. Hands were inspecting him like he was cattle. Suddenly a hand cupped his genitals and Murphy tried to pull away in sudden fright, fearing the worst.

The glint in the collector’s eyes as he forced Murphy to look at him had Murphy start fearing not for his life, but his last shred of hope in humanity.

Long hair hanging around his sneering face the collector smirked down at him, “Do not worry, bright eyes. I just want to test your bodily functions a bit more extensive.” The smirk grew even more insane, “We have to finish before the guest arrives.”

The touches following this statement had Murphy turn his head away. Shame, despair and revulsion had the former lab rat wishing to be everywhere but here in this house. Greedy hand were pulling at him, manipulating how the wanted, never asking and seeking permission.

The cold touch did nothing to Murphy. He had not had anybody touch him in a long time and there was never time to take care of himself in private but his body definitely did not want this man touching him.

Pain tore through him when the collector turned Murphy over forcing dry rough fingers into his unprepared body. Just as Murphy thought it couldn’t get any worse he felt the other man moan and twitch, wetness coating his unprotected backside.

This monster had masturbated to raping him.

Revulsion hit him hard and Murphy turned his head again, closing his eyes, as his stomach rebelled, making him throw up.

A hard smack took him by surprise and the shuddering man tumbled down onto the floor. The band still around his throat had him convulsing again as the man started shouting.

“Ungrateful little bitch! How dare you!!!” The man grabbed his head and Murphy saw exploding stars in front of his eyes as his head was smashed into the floor.

Suddenly the assault stopped and hurried footsteps left his side, leaving him hurt and abused in the filth the monster had spilled on him.

Murphy drifted off, too hurt to try and take advantage of his freedom. A sudden voice startled him and he tried to turn away, hide his shame when gentle hands turned him over.

“Murphy?” 

Those big eyes, frightened for the first time since they meet, looked upon him and Murphy wanted to die. He had never wanted anybody, least of all his team, his family, to see him like this. Tears filling his eyes made it even worse.

“Murphy?!” 10k was shouting now, unsure if the older man was dead or dying. He didn’t look hurt, but he was naked…

Murphy looked up, eyes brimming with tears when a movement behind the boy had his throat lock up. 10 tumbled forward, narrowly missing the already hurt man on the floor, when the collector used the cattle prod

*********

10k came slowly back to from the darkness.

Everything hurt, but he felt alright otherwise. Until he remembered the beaten and naked form of Murphy. What had happened to him?

“Awake, at least?” The gleeful voice belonged to the crazy man he had talked to before, on the stairs. The young man had known that something was very wrong with the man, the insane glint in his eyes had told him that much. “You are back just in time for my second examination of my bright eyed alive zombie!”

10k just realised that there was a matching band around his throat now, like Murphy had. Just then the stupid asshole pushed a button on a remote control and he felt his body lock down in pain. Dimly aware he heard Murphy’s pained shout as well.

“Stop!” The current stopped.

“So you gave thought to my suggestion, bright eyes?” 10k longed to gauge out the man’s eyes, nobody deserved to be looked at like that, not even Murphy.

“You will stop hurting me? And you will leave the boy alone?” Murphy’s voice was weak, trembling –in exhaustion or pain?

“As long as you do what I want I will not touch your little friend.”

Before he could stop himself 10k intervened, “He is not my friend. I hate him!”

Something in Murphy died. Not only was he without family, even the people he thought of as friends hated him… What, had he really thought he deserved better after everything he had done?

The collector laughed, “But he likes you, kid! He begged me not to hurt you and that is the way you thank him? Ungrateful little whelp!” Turning to Murphy he continued, “Bite him!”

Air stuck in his throat Murphy did not react in any way while 10k backed away, “No!”

Current coursed through both of them again as the collector lost the little patience he had, “Bite him, now! I want to see you turn him into a zombie!”

“No, Murphy! You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to end up like Cassandra! Remember what you did to her?!” 10k really did not want to end up like his friend had. 

Murphy saw no way out. He knew he had to do this… Slowly wandering over, still only barely dressed and still soiled by the bastard’s bodily fluids, Murphy resolved that he would just bite 10k and have him kill him. Then the kid would be free and Murphy would get his freedom as well.

“Just relax, I will make it painless.” The blue skinned man descended on the trembling, exhausted young man when suddenly the other imprisoned zombies made their way over to the distracted collector.

“Do it! I want to see it! And after that I will have you again, my bright eyed precious little bitch! I want to make you mine, make you bleed and I need more samples from you. Don’t worry, you will learn to love my touch!!!” The insane laugh was startling the two other men.

10k finally realised what the sick bastard had done to Murphy, how he hurt him. Now the almost submissive behaviour made more sense. While 10k was still innocent to sex and everything involved he was not naive. He knew how people could hurt others like that. He had learned much since the apocalypse had started.

Murphy just closed his eyes, too shamed to even look at the innocent kid on front of him. Just as he breathed in the scared scent of the kid on the ground in front of him he saw the zombies finally reach their captor.

Still bracing himself on the ground by 10k Murphy bit out, “You wanted to see a human die and turn? You are on!”

The tearing sounds of flesh rendering and the screams were not enough balm to sooth the hurt on Murphy’s soul. He leaned down intending to finish his plan when suddenly vertigo pulled him under. He came back only seconds later, 10k cradling him in his arms, shouting at him. 

“Murphy! You have to wake up!”

The zombies had apparently finished with the pseudo doctor and were slowly advancing to them. Just as Murphy concentrated on them his head started hurting again.

Doing his best to control the three zombies he let 10k pull him up, sitting him down in a conveniently placed wheelchair.

10k slowly backed away with Murphy, keeping the blue skinned man between himself and the zombies as they didn’t seem inclined to hurt the other man, at least for now.

The last Murphy heard were shouts and guns as everything went silent and he went over into blissful oblivion.

Maybe he was blessed and wouldn’t wake up again?

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: discussion of (past) rape, a bit gore, suicidal thoughts  
> Thanks for the kudos and comment. They make me want to continue this.

10k looked in relief as the others made their way down to him and Murphy.

The blue skinned man was still unconscious and he looked really pitiful half-dressed and still filthy from the depraved man’s attentions. No matter what Murphy had done in the past, even what happened to Cassandra, it all faded into the background as he had seen the man suffer.

Warren came to a halt right in front of them and a gasp left her when she saw the state their friend / prisoner was in. “What happened to him?” Her voice sounded hoarse, disbelief and hope fighting in her.

The young man looked uncomfortable, not knowing if he should tell her something like this, “…”

“10k?” Her voice now had a harsher tone, looking at him intensely. Suddenly he understood, she thought he had hurt Murphy!

Turning around he gestured to the groaning remains of the now zombified collector, “The bastard hurt him.”

Vasquez went over and with a quick thrust of his knife ended the sorry existence. “What did he do?” The Mexican sounded bored out of his mind but the next words froze his blood.

“Raped him…”

Addy and Doc gasped, shocked out of their mind. The thought such things only happened to others… And not to Murphy of all people.

Warren’s face was frozen as the tugged the blanket away from Murphy’s otherwise bare body. There were a few bite marks, white milky streaks she now knew the origin of and blood. Hate coursed through her and she went over to the dead remains of the long dead fucker, stomping on his head, crushing it into a pulp.

Vasquez could not take his eyes of the unconscious man. He had not expected that. Never in his life had he thought anybody could desire the selfish, egoistic blue skinned man. He sure was no beauty and he had the matching personality as well.

But this was not something he wished on his worst enemy. Killing was one thing in these times, but leaving their own humanity so far behind to break and abuse another person like this? Sometimes Javier doubted that humans were worth saving at all.

Addy felt tears wetting her cheeks. Sure she hated Murphy, it was his fault Mack had died. If he hadn’t run away they wouldn’t have had to look for him, going into that fucking building to escape the other bounty hunters. But she did not want him punished like this. It was the same feeling that had kept her with the commune in Utah, now he had suffered through it.

Doc quickly made his way over to Murphy. Gently tucking him out of the wheel chair he lay him down on the ground with 10k laying the blanket on the floor and supporting the other’s head. The mess was quickly revealed for all to see. “Stupid fucking bastard!” Doc cursed, he liked Murphy, even when he was a pain in the ass. Quickly examining him Doc checked pulse and his pupils, before trailing down the broken and bleeding body. “Scratches all over, broken ribs - he was probably kicked some.” 

Halting in his examination, Doc swallowed as bruises in form of hand prints stood out dark against the blue skin. “He was grabbed really hard, is bruised around his throat, biceps and hips…” Forcing himself to continue he turned Murphy over, 10k tugging the other against his own body to hold him secure.

Taking a deep breath Doc continued, “Dried sperm…” Forcing bile down he gently separated Murphy’s cheeks and felt wetness there. Murphy twitched and tried to escape their hold, wanting away from the touch. But 10k held firm, gently running his hand through his short hair, whispering soothing nothings in his ear, too low for the others to hear, “Shh, Murphy. He is dead. Doc’s just making sure you will be alright.”

As soon as the man relaxed back into oblivion, and wasn’t that surprising, Doc gently forced one finger inside. “Seems to be no tearing. He should be alright, in time.”

“Physically.” Vasquez raspy voice had the others look at him. “It will not be easy for him…”

Warren snorted in disbelief, “Whenever is something easy for or with him?!” She was angry beyond belief. She had promised herself she would delivery him to the lab in California and be on her way, maybe save others while cruising the country. Now she realised how naive she had been. Could she really leave Murphy at some lab, without protection, friends or some kind of friendly face? No matter what she had promised Charles Garnett at the time, no matter what needed to be done to provide humanity with a change of survival, she couldn’t leave him alone.

That meant she couldn’t have Vasquez take him from them.

Standing up she quickly pulled her knife, but the bounty hunter was ready for her, had seen the changed in her face, her eyes glinting in determination. “Stop it, Warren!” He grabbed her hands, knowing she allowed him to do that when his feet were suddenly swept out from under him, “Warren!”

“You will not take him to California!” Warren sat on his hips, blade at his throat.

Not even daring to breathe too deeply Javier rasped out, “I know.”

Sudden motion drew their attention to the hurt man. Murphy tried to roll over just as Doc was finishing his check-up. The hold of 10k restraining him made him panic and he quickly tried to escape their hands. “Please… Stop it…” Words weakly mumbled flew together as tears escaped the tortured man’s eyes. “I will do it, but stop hurting me!” Eyes flying wide open Murphy started breathing too quick, panic taking over his mind. Just then the doors upstairs flew open, crashing, and they heard the groaning and hurried steps of zombies drawing closer.

Murphy’s state of mind pulling them in, telling them to protect him… From them…

Warren swore as she jumped up, helping Vasquez up as well, “We will talk about this later!”

Nodding Vasquez quickly ran over to Doc, bundling Murphy up into the blanket and hefting the weakly struggling man up into his arms.

10k could only watch in surprise. He wasn’t sure he liked the other touching Murphy, even less so with the man so vulnerable, but he had to admit this was the quickest way of getting him out of the building. They were out of bullets and the sounds indicated at least a dozen zombies coming for them. “Murphy, stop it!” 10k grabbed the other man’s hand, squeezing firmly, “It is just us, and we will get you out of here.”

Vasquez nodded at the kid as Murphy seemed to calm down a bit, the frenzy of the zombies slowing down enough for the others to quickly make a bloody path through them.

Once on the front porch 10k tried to take Murphy from him, but Vasquez shook his head, “No, he is too tall and heavy for you to carry. Just make sure we get out of this fucking town and back to the car.”

Doc chuckled despite the really bad situation, “No need to get jealous, boy! Murphy still likes you best!” The chuckle drew the attention of the others as he nodded at Murphy.

The man was again unconscious, but his hold on 10k's hand remained firm. The young man hadn’t even thought about it before. Now shamed by this he quickly freed his hand, ignoring the whimper this drew from the hurt man.

“Shut up, Doc!” The heat flooding his face had 10k curse his light complexion. He knew what he felt for Murphy now, but wasn’t ready to admit it to anybody else.

Addy urged them on, holding blood packs in her hand marked with Murphy’s name and “bright eyes”. The others were securing their surroundings as the group made it back out of town, through the forest and back to their car without further problems.

“You think we should clean him up, Doc?” Vasquez asked as he gently set the other man onto the backseat.

Shaking his head Doc replied, “I don’t think we should touch him more than necessary right now.”

Just then Murphy opened his eyes, now clearer as he had come back into the right mind. “Guys…” Throat dry he coughed and was surprised when a bottle of water was practically thrust into his hands. Following the hands up the arms he looked into the relieved eyes of 10k. “Thank you.” Greedily drinking Murphy tried to remember what had happened and if all he remembered was just a bad dream. But as he moved to sit up pain tore through him, coming from his backside.

The grunt made the others tense up again, but the feared emotional outbreak did not happen as they thought. Instead the unnatural coloured eyes filled with pain and shame before closing, turning them all out.

“Murphy?” Warren was worried. A silent and quite Murphy was never a good thing. The eyes flickered open, focussing on her, but Roberta shuddered, they looked dead and hopeless. “Will you be alright?”

The answer took a few seconds, “Sure, not the first time this happened.”

Shuddering gasps escaped all of them, “What do you mean?” Addy asked gently.

The harsh laugh that escaped Murphy had them tense in anticipation of a cutting remark, “I was in fucking prison, what do you think happens there to someone as… flamboyant... as me? What do you think fucking Hammond did to me, for three months?!”

Words could cut deeply when placed the right way at the right time. And this was definitely the right time to see Murphy as more than a lab rat. He was as human as them, with a terrible past.

“Hammond?” Warren asked in disbelief. They had only known the other man a few days before he had died, but thinking back on it the military man had been very free with his touches on Murphy. At that time they hadn’t thought about it, but now it made the flinches come back to mind.

“Yeah, made me compensate for all we lost on the way until we found you.” Murphy swallowed hard, “Used me like I deserved…”

“Do you hate humans because of what they did?” 10k couldn’t help ask. He wanted to know if the other was damaged by what had been done to him. For now he ignored the voice scresming in his head, what did Murphy mean with 'deserved'?

A shuddering breath left the hurt man, “Sure doesn’t endear them to me. Mankind always hurts each other, the fucking apocalypse only ensured that it is not necessary to hide it anymore.” Trying to sit up again Murphy swallowed hard, “Can I… Can I clean up a bit?”

Warren shook her head, worried about staying there, “Not right now. We will hook you up on the blood and leave. You can clean up at the next stop, we will find a cabin and stay there for you to recover.”

10k saw shame cross the man’s face. 

“I can still smell him, feel him…taste him…”

Jumping up 10k quickly tugged the other man up, bracing him when he swayed, “Come on.” Barely aware of the hand holding his tightly he tugged the other man behind the next bushes. “Stay here.” Murphy did not even have time to panic at being left alone before 10k was back with a few bottles of water. 

Understanding dawned on Murphy as 10k looked at him, “I can do it alone…”

“Let me help you.”

“Why?” Despair was clawing at him.

10k grabbed his hand again, “You didn’t bite me. Why?”

Tears quickly filled his eyes as he admitted, “Wanted to…”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Wanted you to kill me, you would have been free of me then.”

Shock tore through the younger man. “You wanted to bite me and make me kill you?!”

“Yes.”

“Why?!”

Despairing eyes locked onto the brightly glinting eyes of 10k, “Because you hate me.”

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter with fluff and feels, hurt/comfort

10k was shocked, “You wanted me to kill you because I hated you?” Even as he said it the young man realised the past tense he used. Did he really no longer hat the other man? He was not evil like others they had come across. Sure he was an egoist, self-involved and not able to get along with others. But now knowing more about his past changed things, changed 10k’s perception even on the happenings with Cassandra. 

At Murphy’s nod he continued, “Why did you bite Cassandra?”

The blue skinned man was stumped by the change of topic. Maybe if he was honest the other would kill him? Shrugging he looked at the ground, “I didn’t know she would become so fixated on me. Thought I could save her, make her immune to the virus…”

“But it didn’t work.” 10k voice took on a more gentle tone. “You made her a slave, made her do all those things, forced her to obey you.”

“Yes.”

“But you were sad when I killed her.”

“Yes.”

This was worse than pulling teeth! “Why?”

“I liked her, ok? I thought over time I could change her back, release her from the influence. Give her back her life.” Murphy whispered the last part, closing his eyes from the perceived harsh glare.

“Did you ever hurt her?”

Murphy’s eyes flashed open and he stumbled back when he realized what exactly 10k was implying, “NEVER!!!”

“Alright.” 10k gently grabbed Murphy’s right hand, handing him a bottle of the water while grabbing an old shirt from his back-pack.

Stunned Murphy just stood there as 10k wetted the cloth before looking at him in expectation. “What?”

“Loose the blanket, we only have a few minutes to clean you up.” The flush taking over the kid’s face would have amused Murphy if not for the situation and most recent trauma.

“…” 

Without waiting for the older man to grab onto what he was saying 10k gently grabbed the blanket still placed around Murphy and slowly tugged it away. The lack of resistance was surprising, but he only used slow movements when he slowly started whipping down Murphy’s face, down his neck and arms. “Not as good as a shower, but it should work for now.”

Holding perfectly still Murphy stared at the boy, no, man in front of him. Did he even realize what this did to him? The sweet torture of thinking someone cared about him? “Why are you helping me?”

“I do not hate you.” 10k put more water on the cloth starting on the chest, being careful to avoid the always tender looking bite marks. 

The flinch was expected as Murphy tried to twist away. “Stop it, please.” 

Shaking his head 10k slowly knelt in front of Murphy. Looking at him intensely but forcing himself to be clinical about it he washed down the hips and legs, leaving the smooth privates in front of him alone. He didn’t think Murphy would appreciate the even more intimidate touch. “”Please, Murphy. I just want to take care of you.”

Frozen in indecision Murphy looked down into the dark empathy filled eyes. Could he really do this? Trust anyone like this? Would 10k betray him as all the others had done?

Standing up slowly 10k used the bottle of water to slowly let it trickle down Murphy’s front, washing the last dirt and shame away. “Will you let me continue?”

Not able to turn around himself Murphy only nodded, a short sharp movement of his head.

10k walked slowly around looking at the mess still visible on the other’s body. Glaring hateful at the proof of human depravity he slowly moved the bottle again, the water doing nothing for the dried semen clinging to the skin. Taking hold of the cloth he started scrubbing at the stains, mindful not to hurt or irritate the skin. 

“It’s not coming of.”

10k was surprised by the hoarse voice, “I just need more water.”

“No, the stain is in me, not only on my skin.”

On impulse 10k hugged the other man close from behind, “That’s not true. It only weakens and shames you if you let them win. There is nothing they can do to harm you anymore.”

Swallowing hard Murphy let himself feel safe in a long time. He leaned back and closed his eyes. The younger was not as muscled as others they had come across, but his arms were strong nonetheless. The hold was warm, just the right side of tight and so secure he wanted to stay here in that moment forever.

tbc


End file.
